Why does equality equal rejection?

If you're like me, one of the more difficult aspects of practicing equality is rejection.

We are all unique.
We each have different tastes, desires, needs.
We each communicate differently, enjoy different things, understand different things.
We each - well, most of us - have a finite amount of time in this physical body.

And like books, like food, like hobbies, like clothes, we pick and choose the people with whom we interact. Sometimes the choice stems from jobs, or grocery stores, or hobbies - we choose to go here or stop there, and so we connect with sales clerks and shoppers and workers and a thousand other humans.

Sometimes it is an actual choice. I desire to get to know that person better. I am uncomfortable with that person's energy.

We accept and reject.

Likewise, we are accepted and rejected. For jobs. For relationships. For teams. For schools. For grants. For loans.

How many things, in our lifetime, do we apply for - putting ourselves out there, expressing a possibility of interest - and are denied? Are accepted? Choose not to attend? Choose to explore further?

All because of our likes, dislikes, hobbies, interests, speech patterns, looks - our many unique qualities.

Logically, it makes sense. We know it is natural.

But rejection hurts. We immediately doubt our self worth, our identity, our abilities, our future. There is something in us, most of us, that desires to connect, to bond, to be a part of something else. And any rejection can strike that primal fear chord and send us into a pain spiral.

But, if we are all truly equal (and I do believe we are - unique and equal,) then rejection is simply a choosing of what brings happiness in the moment.

It is not right or wrong, the choice. It simply is.

I get to choose whether I'm going to eat my veggies (Yay adulthood!) or apply for a job, or join a group, or start a relationship.

And every other side of those equations get to choose also. The relationship gets to say no, at any time. The group gets to say no. At any time. The job gets to say no. At. Any. Time.

I suppose even the veggies can say no in their own unique, intestinally painful way. At the most inconvenient times.

If I get to say no, then as an equal being, you, him, her, they get to say no also.

Technically, it's not even personal. I, myself, am not being rejected. You, yourself, are not being rejected.

What is being rejected is "Us." "We." Me and that pet. That car and you. That meal and her. That person and him.

Those futures, those possibilities, those are what/who is/are being rejected.

And it IS natural. Choosing one way means rejecting another. For every yes, there is a no. We are all winners and losers, judgers and judgees.

 Even if it is just vegetables.

So the practice seems to be, if you're like me as the rejectee, first allowing myself to feel the mourning. The frustration. The grief of all those possibilities being ended.

And then, to take a deep breath. And let it go. Really. Because I do believe in happiness for every single body. Which means I believe in their choice, your choice, to do what is right for you.

Because I believe in my choice, to do what is right, to bring happiness, to accept and reject. For me.

As unique, equal beings, we each have the right to say no. Which means we are each going to say no. We are going to be said no to. We will be rejected. We will reject. A hundred thousand times in our lives.

Yay equality!

Yes?

I hope you have the day you choose to have!
-Lila